So, what's the worst thing about being unemployed and under-employed for four years? For me it's been the existential feeling of failure. Growing up a baby-boomer, role models were my Dad, Gary Cooper, John Wayne, Audie Murphy. "Father Knows Best" and "Leave It To Beaver" made regular appearances on our B&W television.
My Dad's was the first generation of the family that didn't farm. But he grew up on the farm; he had his chores; he never had to be told to "do it now" because if he didn't do it now it didn't get done. In farming it doesn't matter if you feel like milking the cows. Somebody has to milk the cows every twelve hours, every day. No holiday, no vacation. When springtime comes you plant. When autumn comes you harvest. If you put off planting for a week or two you might put off harvesting completely. On a farm in the 30s, if you didn't have a harvest, you didn't survive the winter. Sometimes I regret I didn't spend much time on the family farms, just for the "do it now" mindset. I'm a born procrastinator, and farming would (probably) have taken it out of me.
The movie guys in the 60s were the tough guy type, never showing much emotion, always handling anything that came along, often handling them with fists or guns.
To shorten this a bit, I grew up with the notion that the Dad handles work, car repair, lawn care, whilst the Mom handles the housekeeping, cooking and the babies. The husband is the provider. So being under-employed for four years has been really difficult. Since my wife is the primary provider, I'm not fulfilling my "role" as husband.
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